four more years of fascism

Thanks to just slightly more than half this country. Ah, well, at least we can work with the other half.

Well, this sucked. But my mom gave me a t-shirt as a parting present that says "Remember, no matter who you vote for, the government will get in." That's the truth. Not that I'm an orthodox anarchist, but it's definitely the point here.

So today we drove back from Ohio, my phone had died early evening last night, so if you're waiting on a call back from me, it's coming. When I checked my messages just now, my pal Nicole had called me to ask what we do next. I called back and said, "Fight! Fight like we always have, like we were going to have to anyway."

I'm so glad the framing of this is "it's good moral values to hate queers and want to control women's lives, and gosh, the Dems should've thought of that." Not, say, "gee, over half this country wants us to be an evangelical christian state, in direct contradiction to the Constitution, as problematic a document as that was in its first incarnation." Or perhaps the irony of the party of "No Big Government" wanting to control the minutia of my personal sex life, and the reproductive activities of many.

There will be blaming. I think the Dems picked a particularly uncharismatic ruling-class dude to run. I also think they fold early because that's all they seem to know how to do - conciliate.

I also think that Republican operatives in the state of Ohio calling people and telling them incorrect locations of their polls, and giving voters in predominantly African-American districts fake ballots and having people "vote on the spot" is part of the very problem.

In Columbus, it was raining. As I emphasized to the somewhat distractible but stalwart van's worth of High School students, all political analysts know that when it rains, Dems stay in and Republicans trot out and vote anyway (except in SF - represent!). While there was huge voter turnout, and 90% of the Ohioans I spoke with that day had already voted, I wouldn't be surprised if it didn't help. I said to them, "Yes, knocking doors of empty houses sucks. Yes, being rained on sucks. But those things don't suck as much as four more years of Bush." Alas, now we get to find out exactly how much that is, barring force majure.

I came back to DC and wanted to see riots, but instead saw traffic. I got another call from my pal Cathy, who'd spent the last two months in Columbus - she got a call from our people in the Bay, rowdy and in the streets of the Mission. If that don't make ya homesick, I don't know what will.

Hang in there, folks, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

November 2

So here I am, in Columbus Ohio. Me and Mr. Bush, together at last. I woke up on the floor of my pal Cathy Rion's room, at 5:15 am, a whopping 3 hours after my head hit the pillow. I had a pillow, that was great!

But let me back up. My intrepid co-workers and I sallied forth in a rental car, with only a 45-minute delay, to Columbus. I met my pal Cathy after we met with a student from OSU, and she convinced me to part company with said co-workers and stay to help in Columbus. It's pretty awesome that I did, not because of being far from them, but becasue I got to spend my day with high school students from Columbus door-knocking in various neighborhoods. Between that and the near ear-shattering hip-hop in between precincts, ya can't beat it.

We got in by 11, I was out with Cathy and a crew of folks dropping Young Voter Alliance literature until 1:30 am. So far, so good. I even got in a shower.

Off to the Hertz, where we rented big vans to haul the students around in, and I was nominated a driver. After a brief tussle with Hertz policy around debit cards vs. credit cards, we were off and running.

It started raining. I had to get creative with the pep talks, but despite the grumbling, the students were faithfully knocking every door we could find.

Three rounds later, it's dark and we're slogging through the rain. We found a single potential voter who wasn't planning on going out, and contrary to our script, my comrade entreated him for 15 minutes. He was somewhat closer to putting his shoes back on and forging forth, at least I'd like to think so.

After yet another tri-level apartment complex with slippery metal stairs, well, I slipped. No terrible injuries, just a sore butt. We decided to call it a night and get pizza, Kerry leading by 1 point in Ohio, 15 minutes till polls closing. Even the few visible Bush voters I encountered - all young white men - seemed moved by our willingness to stick it out in our torn plastic parkas and wilting doorhangers.

I think Cathy is out giving cookies to remaining voters in line at the polls...I await a well-earned small vegan pizza from next door and try to understand conversation during the same five songs we've heard all day.

I love young people. There is no sarcasm about that. I don't think I could've made it out without the amazing crew of East High whippersnappers to brighten up my day.

I also love Ohio-ans, these people trucked out and VOTED, bless their hearts!

OK, all for now, time to see if the exit poll sites are still so flooded that I can't get them to load ;)

Hit the ground running

Hey folks,

Last Friday I arrived to the infamous Dulles airport with 3 checked bags and a carry-on. Much to my dismay, Elly wasn't able to procure a car and I got a shuttle to my new place. It was all terribly surreal, and late, and I was pretty hungry and cranky by the time I actually made it here - but Elly had food waiting, and eventually we walked down to U St to get me some late-night Ethiopian food. Yay!

I have to report that I have yet to eat at Ben's Chili Bowl - I think I'm saving that for a rainy...oh wait, it *is* raining here.

So this is my wee bit of luxury time in between work reading to post, since I start work on Monday, spent the better part of my weekend not doing much unpacking (because my stuff hadn't yet arrived), shopping for a first round of groceries, and hanging out at Elly's family's house waiting to borrow her dad's minivan for a bookshelf-purchasing adventure.

USAS should be a good time...we're working on the campaign strategy, I'm getting up to speed and was immediately employed by fixing a variety of netowrking and printing problems with their office. I got them running, and the next day the netowrk collapsed again so it was all undone. It's still amazing to me that I get to learn about organizing and labor and work with student movement folks as a job. Whee!

I'm working from home while the Postal Service and UPS deliver the bulk of my worldly possessions. Home is a nice studio that Elly landed us, a block from the Metro in NW off of Georgia Ave., and apparently the Green Line is where it's happenin' in terms of activist stuff around here.

how this all came about, the moving to DC part

Hi lovely peoples,

Here's the story. Elly finishes school and moves out to California, claiming to be here for at least a year. In DC, she'd been volunteering with City at Peace, a theater-for-social-change group that works with youth in the DC area. She had been politicized by this group as a young person, and her sister Kate is now a participant. On her way out the door (or off the coast), City at Peace had rumbled about maybe offering her a job, perhaps Assistant Artistic Director. It needed Board approval, etc, etc, so she wasn't all that convinced they could pull it off.

She came out here, and we talked, and argued, and stressed, and got excited, and all that. But mostly we procrastinated making a decision about whether we should stay or go. A month went by, and we were thinking it was not going to be an issue...if City at Peace were to make an offer, it would have to be quick. We relaxed. The phone rang on a Friday in early September: "Hey, we have the money, the position would have to start with the school year...can you let us know by Monday?"

AHHH!

So finally I decided that Elly needed to decide this one for herself. She knew what my thoughts and concerns were, and there it was. She took the job, packed up, and was on a plane by Sept. 15th. I decided I would stay in the Bay Area until December to be able to transition out of my responsabilities here and move with some semblance of sanity; I then promptly told everyone that's waht I was doing.

During the Elly-moving-rush, my pal Molly forwarded a job announcement from United Students Against Sweatshops, for a national organizer position based in DC. I thought, "What the heck?" and worked on the application while Elly packed up things. I sent it out just at deadline, and after I didn't hear anything for three days, figured I was out of the running.

Boy was I wrong. On the last weekend Elly was in town, she and I and Mazzy were hanging out when I got a call from a 202 number and decided to take it. It was USAS, alrighty, and they wanted to interview me that Sunday. Yipes!

The next day Elly and I went to brunch, I panicked frequently, and the interview (a merciful half-hour conference call) ensued. They liked me! But how much? The hiring process was clearly at breakneck speed, they wanted someone ASAP and I was to hear that coming Friday, or so I thought. I hear then on Thursday that their committee wasn't at consensus, and perhaps I would be called for a second round, decision to be made Tuesday. Not sure whether that was a good sign, I decided the best course of action was to swim in anxiety.

Saturday I got the call - they wanted a second interview. Yipes yipes! Very little overlap in interviewers, so I basically got a second take on the job I'd done the first time. Not bad! Now that Elly was in DC, I got my own brunch and nervously waded through familiar questions. I'd hear on Monday, said one of the interviewers - a conflicting report.

Monday rolls around, and I've started mentioning to people that all this interview insanity was going down, so it wouldn't come as too much of a surprise when I announce I may have to leave this beloved Coast. I'm still not convinced I have it, far from it. The day is weird, as one of my co-workers walks out, and I'm faced at work with the proposition of taking over web admin/technical stuff, while knowing that I could be giving notice at any minute. I'm on pins and needles. No calls come in, and I'm torn between relief and disappointment.

Tuesday is here, I'm scrape-me-off-the-ceiling level of anticipation now. I'm thoroughly convinced at this point that I don't have the job, so I can relax about moving and get irritated that I haven't been formally rejected. It's 5:00 Eastern time, still no call, I breathe a big sigh. half an hour later, I'm iChatting with my pal in Ohio about her trying job as a swing state organizer when I get a 202 call. Deep breath, walk outside the office, take the call. Remain calm. Remain calm. Either way, it's good news. OHMYGAWD! They're OFFERING ME THE JOB! Holllleeeee shit! "So, can we fly you to DC this weekend?" Sure!

I walk back in and sufficiently contain myself that nobody knows for 10 minutes or so...I want to talk with Leigh, my immediate boss. I call people together to announce it, which is weird because that's what the walkout co-worker did the day before. Whooo hoo! I spend the rest of my day trying to figure out what needs to happen over the next few weeks. They want me by mid-October, and even that's a stretch.

So that Friday, I'm on a plane to DC (a red-eye with a layover, a 12-hour retreat...I managed to hang in there) and return to work Monday. The next weekend I'm off to Louisville for a wedding I'd planned on attending months ago...my ex-partner's. Off to Louisville! It was a lovely weekend. Now here we are, a week away, my goodbye party this Sunday. My life in cardboard and tape, and I'm still not entirely sure I'll get it all done. Thank the dieties for Elly, her family, her apartment, her willingness to receive my boxes; my friends who help organize it all; Mazzy and her wonderous station wagon Charlie; Leigh who has smoothed things out at my current work.

Off to DC for me!

The insane move of insanity.

The insane move of insanity.,
originally uploaded by mtoth.

I'm leaving for Washington D.C. In a week. A WEEK! This is a gritty, cinema verité picture of my nostrils as of a second ago, while I test the maiden voyage of my camera-phone-picture-blog fast forward to the newfangled devices of this century.

More to follow.

having a moment

So folks, you may or not know that I'm leaving for the east coast later this year or early next. This is a huge thing for me, as pretty much all of my life (Ok, since past age 5), I've lived within a 3-hour driving radius of here.

I'm sorting through my stuff and getting rid of most of it. It's really emotional process...I can associate piles of sentimentality with actual stuff. The other big thing is that I realize that I'm basically in love with everyone here. OK, not like that. But I'm pretty much in love with the entirety of my political community, and it's really hard to imagine not being here. Thinking of how many people have changed my life, helped me along, and made me who I am, it makes me all snuffly and stuff.

I'm also pretty excited, because it is time to go and spend a bit of time elsewhere. Elly left earlier this week, and she's trying to find a place.

But sheesh. It's good that I'll be back in two years, cuz this is a hard place to stay away from.

San fran-disco

Here I am, back in San Francisco...so my plan to get some work tidied up was thwarted. I arrived and immediately came down with some sort of cold/flu thing which kept me in bed all day yesterday. Ah well. So today I still feel floaty but marginally more with it. The weather is lovely today, and I don't have much to do after we get the room cleaned up...being able to walk from one end to another is useful!

So apparently the film series that I organize with my pal Melanie went really well in my absence! Hooray! We showed "The Fall of the I-Hotel", I was really bummed to have missed it. Next month we're showing "Strong Roots", about the landless workers' movement in Brazil. That should be good.

All my pals got out of jail after the court ruled that the NYPD were in contempt of court for holding people for far more than 24 hours. That ol' wacky Writ of Habeus Corpus, the courts are so particular about it! Anyhow, the NYPD faced fines of $1,000 per person held after their ruling. Huzzah!

OK, I'm still out of it, so less rambling until I can form coherent thoughts.

My last day in NYC

Sorry for the lapse in updates...yesterday I was mostly packing and heading through the subway to my flight. Wahh! I want to be there tonight, the text reports keep flooding in about people disrupting BUsh's speech, staging impromptu rallies, etc. All very exciting.

Before we departed we spent the day out at the Pier 57 (some calling it "Guantanamo by the Hudson", but really, now, folks, that's dramatic). Then we left and went to Central Booking, 1000 Centre St. But were I to have been there today, I would've seen the mighty presence of André 3000, of Outkast fame. Alas! But no, instead I got to see my pal Sasha make it to the outside after an unpleasant stint. She was moved every 10 minutes or so to ensure proper sleeping conditions, kept in metal shackles on hand and feet, and given Frosted Flakes once in the morning. Before she had a chance to eat a Food not Bombs bagel, she was surrounded by reporters. Not optimal conditions for interviewing, but we take what we can get.

While going from the Pier 57 to the courthouse we walked past Ground Zero. There was a small gaggle of Arizona RNC delegates, and one of the New Yorkers in our group took the opportunity to give them a piece of his mind about their explotation of 9/11. They had their own media team, replete with tv camera, and the camera person argued that they just wanted a shot and a 'moment of silence'. Anyway, they were chased off. The squad of NYPD that watched the incident lackadaisically didn't move a muscle to defend the Arizonans.

After supporting Sasha and giving off-the-cuff interviews to local print media, it was time for Elly and I to pack up and head out. We were sad to go, and by now it was apparent that I was coming down with a cold. We just made our trains, and I got held in the interminable wait of the special security line due to my expired driver's license. During our check-in we met two wonderful ladies who had come out from Sonoma County to protest...dear to my heart, since I spent many formative years in Santa Rosa and Healdsburg. They were part of a group of mothers against the war, and affiliated with the SoCo Peace & Justice center. Yay!

Then, to the plane. The only media channels were MSNBC, Fox & CNN Headlines...yuck. A few decent reports of protest came through, I saw some of my Siafu comrades on camera (represent!) and we were even mentioned in passing on the O'Reilly Factor - as the infamous chanting, dancing people in red. Then on to coverage about good ol' Dick Cheney. No wonder I felt ill by the end of it.

By the time we were in bed, it was 4 am NYC time...a long day. The up and off to work, if a little late, this morning. Now that my nose is soundly stuffed up, I may exercise my sick time, even though my work is backed up. So if you ordered a DVD from AlterNet and are yet to get it, my apologies, but there's only one of me and 4,500 of you. And I have personal priorities...the RNC won in this particular case, as did my four days' vacation time.

¡Que viva disruption of the RNC!

All for one, and one for A-31

Hey folks,

So here it was, the big day! I took the morning off and ate breakfast (yay, I’m getting sick of Clif bars) with my lovely host Jenna and pal Cathy. Then, a nap, because my 10am meeting got rescheduled to 3pm, thank the sweet meeting dieties. After tending to bizarrely-placed blisters and laundering our rancid clothes, off to the streets. I’ve fully succumbed to my coffee addiction, as well.

Off to the park, off to an apartment, eating at a wonderful deli with a nice man who not only was 20 years vegetarian, but let us use the “employees only” bathroom, receiving roles, and off to go shopping at the Mall. “WTF?” you say? Yep, a mall near 34th and Broadway, from which to see the cops clearing streets and pushing shoppers around. We caught the news coverage at 5pm, and I was actually pretty impressed, even with the mainstream news.

Our small group missed the big event. 40 people got to the middle of an intersection and sat down, blocking 33rd and 5th. Hell YEAH! It’s pretty inspiring. We were meanwhile amongst lots of confused shoppers/commuters, some fellow protesters, some freaked out RNC delegates, and lots of aggro cops. They shoved some grandmas and parents on their way to chase freaked out, yet pretty obviously unaffiliated people trying to flee the scene.

The coolest thing was that even though it was apparent the NYPD had word of our plan A, they didn’t get our plan B...and *we* did.

Anyway, after finding everyone left over from the first round, we met with more folks outside the hot zone and made our way to Union Square. Things were chill there, and it was a great study in plainclothes observation. There were, at varying points, 1 plainclothes to every 3 legit protesters. Because my pals and I kept pointing them our loudly (and singing them little songs at points), they had three shift changes in our area, very funny to watch. Then the area heated up, as some riot cops snagged a person trying to go into the subway. I heared (but didn’t see) that it was one of these nasty neck-lasso thingies. So everyone int he park rushes over and starts trying to get them to back off. We pulled back and watched, the riot cops, a squad of mounted police, and a weird SUV-thingy with an automated satellite dish. We cruised around and noticed the amazingness of our comrades inside as they started a lively chant circle to draw the attention away from the hot zones. This succeeded in de-escalating, and a platoon of riot cops who had surrounded the crowd disappeared. Poof! The undercover stayed with as well.

Anyhow, it was chill, and Midnight, so we walked home and are now attempting to go to bed.

Jenna says “OK Max, time to make a sign. Fuck your blog!” Here I am, quoting her.
Yay radical librarians.

three's a charm

dammit, blogger ate my first attempted post accidentally.

Today was sweating, marching, sweating, marching, meeting. Not many whompings that I saw, but the Mouse Bloc, the folks who went to bug the delegates going to Broadway shows, got some whomping. Darnit.

I was temporarily veered from the information highway last night as my cell phone died. But luckily I found a nice lady at the cel phone store, and after brief negotiations and a purchase of a new, cheaper cell phone (ugh), I’m back in the loop.

So off to Central Park with 10,000 fellow picnickers, quite mellow and lovely.

Stay tuned...

Mmm, falafel

OK, it's bedtime. But I found $3.00 falafel! It was amazing! At this Turkish kebab place. It's the little things.

Hope meets eternally

Day two for yours truly.

Today I took subways, met, and talked, and met, and talked, and took more subways, and ate clif bars, and talked on my phone. I’m in between meetings. Perhaps I’ll go to a movie tonight with Elly’s fams.

While I was meeting, talking, and eating in the afternoon, a bunch of people protested a Starbucks. I saw them on my way to a subway... but this link will get stale. The event didn’t warrant page of its own.

Last night 264 folks riding with Critical Mass got arrested, some of them taking quite a whomping.

I like the NYC subway, the maps are readable and I no longer feel inept to deal with transfers.

The MSG area really sucks for fast vegan food, but practically everywhere else has more than I expect. No, I don’t mean monosodium glutemate.

My amazing pal Brooke Atherton arrived from her summer in Lebanon, wonderfully enough. Hooray for that!

More musings as events continue...

Day 1: Still rollin'!

Hey folks,

So I have successfully

1. Napped, eaten lunch
2. Gone to an event
3. Avoided police intervention.

No, but seriously, I helped my pal table for AK Press at the Immigrant Worker's Speakout, and am now off to an event at a bookstore with Chris Crass and Maria Poblet. Should be good!

MST @ the RNC in NYC

Hey Mom! I'm calling from Jail!

OK, no, not really. I've just landed in New York, and plan to put updates to this blog while I'm here. I was dismayed to realize that there were clearly not 5-6 beefy undercover dudes following me out here, so apparently I'm not one of the famous 56 anarchists. Oh well, I guess my political self-identification is too complicated for the fuzz. Or something.

Anyhow, More to come as things progress.

Yers in protest,
-Max

Agitating the Nonprofit Techies

So I'm on the listserv for nonprofit computer admins, and have been since the list started six years ago or so. A post came across it the other day, when people were discussing different kinds of databases (a big issue in nonprofit-techie-land).

Title: "Why not just one big database?"

The real question is why are there 1.8 million US NPOs when most of the administration, physical facilities, and non-program staff are just duplicative. Answer: job insecurity. In the same way coder jobs are now moved to India while awaiting transfer to China, the unspoken fear of NPO execs is that something efficient will replace the national united way (people have heard that banks provide direct deposit now haven't they?) with what I call "Conglomericares" -- a single overarching charity -- completely eliminating the need for 1.8 million boards, fundraising programs, development directors, etc., etc., etc. with a registry of all programs and their attendant budgets.

cynical - There will be, of course, some feigned "sincere resisitance" throwing out red herring protests but in the end the donors will become savvy to the truth that there is that difference between an NPO saying it cares about its clients and the NPO actually producing that care and that care as efficiently as possible -- eg, bang for buck. -cynical

Basically, this guy was making an argument that all nonprofits did the same thing, were duplicative, and could all consolidate into one major organization, as the medical industries, banks, etc. have done. A very capitalist model that claims market efficiency requires consolidation, was this guy's argument.

There were a couple of excellent responses to this, but I was feeling awfully feisty this morning and sent back the following:

Not to be totally constructive, but...

Why not one big revolution? Instead of spending our time being human administrative stopgaps and trying to soften the blow of global capitalist economy which requires the oppression and disenfranchisement of millions to function, we work to address the fundamental issues that create the necessity of our jobs? I'd like to work myself out of mine, for one.

That way we'd need fewer databases and they could be for more useful things like making sure everyone got their basic needs met *all the time*, not when the tax shelters of corporations decide they want to fund us.

What I'm getting at is that I feel there are political and philosophical differences inherent in the arguments behind centralization and consolidation of data. I also greatly appreciate your rebuttal, Alnisa and Jenny.

Further, the very institutional structures (the US military) that created the initial infrastructure upon which our jobs depend (the internet) understood the strategic advantage of having a distributed, redundant architecture in the event of emergencies. Not necessarily efficient, nor do I agree with the US military around a lot of things, but I do agree with that.

I also strongly agree that it's nuts to assume that the people and issue areas we work on are identical. My 2¢

Yers in techitude,
-Max

The guy, to his credit, sent a very diplomatic response where he thanked us all for engaging in honest debate. My co-workers were so amused by the post I thought I'd throw it up here.

Max & mom, a tidbit

So my mom and I were discussing the Death of the Gipper and the horrendous consequent media coverage.

I said to her, "Well, I was thinking on my way up here, it's nice that they put the flags at half-mast so it's easier to BURN THEM before it's deemed contrary to the Constitution!" We laughed.

Much later she expressed how proud she was to have a kid who thought like that. It just warms my heart

Uhm, yeah

It's been a while. Sorry readership! (Or at least, what's left of you)

What's on my mind these days are:

• Elly's return - this weekend we make many decisions about where to go next;
  
• Self-help books to combat my depression around the breakup - I just finished Learned Optimism, which, while being super-dated and from a very particular perspective, is a book that made me think quite a bit about the uncanny parallels between successful life insurance salespeople and successful grassroots organizers; the amazing Harmony Goldberg recommended Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart" (no, not the book by Chinua Achebe) which I was reading until I left it in Elly's mother's minivan on the way back from Oregon. I await its return...anyhow. The Learned Optimism book comes with a test of optimism and pessimism that I am now inflicting upon my friends;
  
• How I don't post to my blog often enough.
  

More soon...

it's my birthday tomorrow

and I realized I hadn't posted in a while.
post-5 year-breakups can do that.

But it's been an eventful week! The kickoff of the film series went well, with approximately 75 people in attendance. We raised $250 for the Day Labor Program. The next one should be even bigger, and the space and El Rio are great.

The panel also went well, and Renee Saucedo showered praise on the Childcare Collective, which wasn’t solicited but always nice to hear. Go us!

Then there was an emergency action for CISPES because the leaders of the healthcare workers’ union down there are in jail and have been for weeks after a peaceful protest. Originally charged with terrorism, the charges have been dropped but constant appeals keep them in police custody. Read more about this on the CISPES website.

So we had a protest at San Francisco’s Salvadoran Consulate, and re-enacted the protest where Ricardo Monge and Javier Ayala were arrested.

In fact, as I look over indymedia, I realize that I’ve made it out to quite a few events. HeadsUp did security for the May 1st march and I was there for it, and I went to the vigil posted on the page. Well!

OK, all for now.

in other news

What does my life look like right now?
I'm trying to figure that out.

• I'm coordinating a panel for the current Challenging White Supremacy workshop, next week. Yipes!
  
• I'm working on a radical film series at El Rio bar with my compa, Melanie. 1st one is The Revolution will Not Be Televised, and a fundraiser for the San Francisco Day Labor Program. Should be fun! C'mon down! Thursday May 11th, 8pm...
  
• More reportbacks about El Salvador, this one's in Oakland on Wednesday May 19th. Write me if you want to go!
  
• Childcare Collective, HeadsUp, lotsa parties in the next few weeks. My birthday is comin' up, May 14th, but I think there are so many events it's hard to plan a party. Stay tuned.
  

Yep, that's enough. Plus the post below.
But my friends just had a baby, and that's the MOST exciting thing EVER. EVER!!!

Yers,
-Max

absinthe makes the heart grow fonder

So, fellow humans and audience members, I've been slogging through the relatively unceremonious dissolution of my five-year relationship with Mazzy. It is sad, it is confusing, it is unexpected. We will figure out how to be friends, and are very civil and checking-in-ful. It still sucks. I understand why this came about (after many conversations); I don't agree with parts of *how*, but ultimately I hope it makes Mazzy and I be better people.

I think that's all I can say about it right now.