Howdy everybody.
So it's true! I'm gettin' hitched. It's a sign I've been a little busy that this happened over Hanukkah and yet it took Jess writing the adorable guest submission to announce it here.
Since November 28, my last post to y'all, I done some thangs. You'd think one of them was to ask Jess to marry me, and yep, I did that. The funny truth of it is that I had asked her some time ago. I sort of blurted out a proposal last August, in all unromantic honesty, after my brain was completely overtaken by a desire to utter a question I hadn't thought would cross my lips. I was kind of freaked out because I didn't exactly know how to say this thing. Jess had gone away for a week, and by the time she returned it had become apparent to me that I wanted her to keep coming home to me in a permanent sort of way.
Right away she said "yes." Two days later she said "Whoa, this is really big. Can I think about it?" I replied in a enthusiastically-if-slightly-tortured manner that yes, of course, this is one of those life-long decisions and she could have all the time in the world. Which apparently turned out to be three and a half months. In the intervening time between "can I think about it" and "Yes!" were some steps. You see, Ms. Champagne is an organizer. So when she said "can I think about it", she then took a couple of weeks and developed a Four-Point Plan for the Development of a Decision Around Long-Term Commitment to Max, got my buy-in (and a pair of lovely promise rings), and immediately set about implementing the Plan. Cohabitation was one of the steps, and they were in all truly sensible.
Fast forward to December 18, 2007. I come home lateish from a planning session about a training I was about to give, we sit down to Hanukkah dinner, Jess brings out soup and then a plate of steamed veggies with peanut sauce on top. I say "Oh, that looks good!" She said, flatly "It spells something." Indeed it did! She had accepted my proposal in a vegetal manner. A picture of the peanut-sauce "YES" is now the backdrop of my cell phone.
So there we have it. There will be plans, invitations, arrangements, a website. Stay tuned. Something like Spring 2009, East Coast wedding, West Coast reception, that's about as far as we've gotten. I had no idea how many *questions* an announcement like this prompts!
Other major events -- I went out to California for three weeks. It was a long trip, and sadly I was sick for all of it with a heinous flu/cold something. But I got to see a fair number of my dear West Coast pals -- never enough, but always good whatever time I do get. I spent a bunch of time with my mom as it was also the first anniversary of my dad's death. A rough time. Jess and I went off to Mendocino for a couple of days, which was a great way for me to spend some time thinking about him.
Work with the DC Trans Coalition moves ever forward -- in light of our recent victory with the DC Metropolitan Police Department we held a 45-person community forum/know your rights training, and we're gearing up for a campaign aimed at the Department of Corrections. If you're interested in that I don't update that site much more than this, but it's at dctranscoalition.org
I was supposed to meet Jess's grandparents a couple of weeks ago, but the weather in Kalamazoo, MI prevented it. We're going in mid-March.
Shocking news: I finished a fiction book of my own volition. A big one! 650-some-odd pages, Kavalier & Clay. I liked it! Those of you who know me know that's surprising. It's also a testament to Nasty Flu #2 -- I didn't have the brains to do anything like meaningful work, so I read half of it over the course of a day.
On to the Outrage:
I received an action alert about a memorial for Lawrence King. Lawrence was a 15-year-old student at a middle school in Oxnard, California who was shot to death by a fellow student for being gay and presenting in a gender nonconforming manner. The vigil I attended was put on by GLSEN. I know that every day LGBT young people face harassment, abuse and worse all across the US -- but I was struck by the sense of resignation by the crowd at our vigil for Lawrence King.
I was Lawrence King's age, 15 years old, when I became the second person to come out at my rural northern California high school. I faced plenty of harassment and have been in a handful of situations where I wasn't sure whether the person harassing me would go as far as to beat me up, but I also knew that just telling people not to yell things or hit me wasn't going to make them respect my humanity. As a youth activist I was actively involved in the campaign to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the nondiscrimination clause of the California education code. Sixteen years later, and where are things at in California? When will we say "enough"? How do we solve the problems of
I know many organizers and activists fight to make schools a better place for LGBT youth. I know that too many young people are cut down every day just because of who they are and the way power is doled in this nation, and too many deaths are ignored. It's sad that a few weeks ago we lost Lawrence, and his attacker may wind up in a horrible prison system for the rest of their life. The way things are now, few kids will be taught to respect and love one another because of Lawrence's death, but I hope we can make sure it was not in vain. I can't wait until the day that all kids are loved and respected, and that no lives are considered forfeit by virtue of who you are or where you happen to be born.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Thursday, February 07, 2008
A guest submission with news!
OK, I know it's been too long since I've posted when my partner writes a guest post about major news in our lives. That said, this was seriously adorable and although I don't think she really meant me to post it for real for real, here it is. :) -Max
Guest post by Jess, 7 February 2008
Since last writing, our hero has taken a shocking--but positive, we promise--step: he's decided to get married. We know, "marriage" is not a word you ever thought you'd hear associated with his name. But it's subversive and transgressive in so many ways, honest--and plus it won't involve the state (except whatever office you go to register domestic partnerships in the District of Columbia, plus the notary who will have to witness all the contracts our hero and his partner will have to sign in order to get a tiny semblance of all the rights that straight couples get just by showing up with two witnesses. But you know all about that.)
Plus, more important, we really think it's going to make him happy. His partner is sometimes short-tempered and just a little overly concerned with details, and she often struggles to keep up with our hero's analysis of the world and his braveness in taking it on to make it better. She's not used to cohabitation (not that he is either) and lots of things about their relationship are new to her. Her last "serious boyfriend" was religious, conservative, and not particularly interested in radical equality or breaking down gender binaries - she has no doubts that this is way better.
However, she loves our hero in a way she has never felt before--he lights up her heart, frees her up from all kinds of mental and emotional traps she had felt stuck in, and makes her weak in the knees. She is excited to learn from him and support him however she can - and sometimes she even reads the books he recommends and follows his suggestions about the best way to go about things practical and political. She is learning that cooking and cleaning can be part of a creative, equal partnership, not of domestic servitude. She likes his friends (even if she's sometimes intimidated by their brilliance, intensity, and depth of experience... in many things...) and is thrilled when he likes hers.
We know that even all this love doesn't guarantee that she will make our hero happy, and we'd hesitate to speak for him on his own blog. But our hero himself has said that some of that gushy lovey weak-in-the-knees stuff goes for him too, that the learning goes in both directions, that their approach to domestic affairs and life can be complementary in many ways, and that he appreciates her follow-through and doggedness when she's trying to learn something (from him or others) or to make something happen.
So we hope that they are off to a life that incorporates both fighting racism and long bike rides through the woods, both working for the rights of workers and trans people and dancing to problematic [while rhythmically fabulous -ed.] music, both reading key books on radical theory and laughing so hard they can barely breathe. Plus, of course, living both on the East coast and the West...not to mention a few places beyond either coast. We hope you feel the same way.
Guest post by Jess, 7 February 2008
Since last writing, our hero has taken a shocking--but positive, we promise--step: he's decided to get married. We know, "marriage" is not a word you ever thought you'd hear associated with his name. But it's subversive and transgressive in so many ways, honest--and plus it won't involve the state (except whatever office you go to register domestic partnerships in the District of Columbia, plus the notary who will have to witness all the contracts our hero and his partner will have to sign in order to get a tiny semblance of all the rights that straight couples get just by showing up with two witnesses. But you know all about that.)
Plus, more important, we really think it's going to make him happy. His partner is sometimes short-tempered and just a little overly concerned with details, and she often struggles to keep up with our hero's analysis of the world and his braveness in taking it on to make it better. She's not used to cohabitation (not that he is either) and lots of things about their relationship are new to her. Her last "serious boyfriend" was religious, conservative, and not particularly interested in radical equality or breaking down gender binaries - she has no doubts that this is way better.
However, she loves our hero in a way she has never felt before--he lights up her heart, frees her up from all kinds of mental and emotional traps she had felt stuck in, and makes her weak in the knees. She is excited to learn from him and support him however she can - and sometimes she even reads the books he recommends and follows his suggestions about the best way to go about things practical and political. She is learning that cooking and cleaning can be part of a creative, equal partnership, not of domestic servitude. She likes his friends (even if she's sometimes intimidated by their brilliance, intensity, and depth of experience... in many things...) and is thrilled when he likes hers.
We know that even all this love doesn't guarantee that she will make our hero happy, and we'd hesitate to speak for him on his own blog. But our hero himself has said that some of that gushy lovey weak-in-the-knees stuff goes for him too, that the learning goes in both directions, that their approach to domestic affairs and life can be complementary in many ways, and that he appreciates her follow-through and doggedness when she's trying to learn something (from him or others) or to make something happen.
So we hope that they are off to a life that incorporates both fighting racism and long bike rides through the woods, both working for the rights of workers and trans people and dancing to problematic [while rhythmically fabulous -ed.] music, both reading key books on radical theory and laughing so hard they can barely breathe. Plus, of course, living both on the East coast and the West...not to mention a few places beyond either coast. We hope you feel the same way.
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