snow day

It's coming up a month since I posted last -- I promised erratic, and gosh darnit, I deliver.

Things are still surreal. I've had a number of amazing dreams that my dad has been present in, but the most amazing one was as follows: My dad has come back to life, but really only briefly, and only to attend his own memorial gathering in [insert mythical dream-place here: for locals, it's like Villa Chanticleer except it's on the Ft. Bragg-Mendocino Road]. I'm shocked that he's back, but we all understand that it's temporary. He's about 45 years old and wearing a classic jeans-shirt-tweed jacket combo. My job is to drive him to the memorial, and we're talking a bit, I think I asked him how long he'd be around, adn then after feeling some anxiety, I ask, "Well, OK. What do we do with your ashes? Because we were thinking, maybe the Pacific, but also we thought you might want them in Chicago, but you didn't leave any instructions..." he smiles widely and laughs, looks at me with an affectionate seriousness and says, "Hmm, I'll have to think about that. I'll tell you later on." We drive up, and everybody is shocked by seeing him at his own memorial, which was the point, I had gathered. I woke up, and realized he hadn't told me what to do with his ashes! Perhaps that was part of the joke. A smart friend of mine said that if he didn't leave instructions, that probably anything we do with them will be the right thing to do. I think it worries me too much.

Today was a snow day, but there was hardly any snow on the ground. I stayed at work although many people left by 2pm and by 5pm, someone turned the hall lights out on me. I suspect tomorrow might be the same situation. I suspect that legislators, who are considering the non-binding resolution around troop withdrawal from Iraq, decided that snow fort manufacture was an easier activity.

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. That is a little rough -- I know it was well observed during his lifetime.

I've seen lots of movies, many meaningful, a few fluffy. I haven't been doing much outside of work that isn't social. Eventually that will drive me to distraction and I'll have to get overcommitted again, but I'm staving it off. It's amazing how productive I can be regardless -- we insulated the house, got a new cat, I've ironed my shirts on several occassions, I repotted my spider plants. Oh, OCD. You are a mixed blessing.