#1 - Dr. Translove

Or, how I stopped worrying and learned to love ANY healthcare provider who would deal with me.

This is one of those threads in my life that I kept meaning to post, but somehow was so frustrated by that spending the time to get it in words seemed insurmountable.

OK, first off, I got the memo that I would never have access to the kind of trans-friendly healthcare that I had in San Francisco...so I stocked up on my necessaries so I'd have some months to track down whatever doctors would deal with me. What I didn't really get was just HOW BAD it would be. Don't worry - this story ends with a partial victory.

Mid-December: I contact Whitman-Walker clinic like everyone told me to, and leave a message asking about transgender health care. I know it's been a while since I've landed but heck, I had a whole overwhelming job to do, so yeah. I get a call back from a guy who says "the trans group is on break for christmas, we'll call if it gets started again." I think, okay, I've got a bit of time and I can just reach them after break. He warns me that it's expensive to go through them if I already have health insurance, which I knew would be an issue. Just why am I so darn honest?

Later December: I come down with (what seems to me to be) strep, and embark on the excitement of flexing my Kaiser benefits for the first time. I meet Dr. Cooper, my new primary doctor (and the only other white person I've seen in the hospital during my visit). I explain that I'd like a throat culture. He asks if I'm on any medication, and I think to myself, "Here we go!" I explain myself, he says "whoa, I don't know nothin' about it, but okay, what do you need?" I'm pretty excited he's willing to work with me, and he gives me an order for bloodwork (for which I'm overdue) and I try to remember everything that needs to be included - cholesterol, liver panels, testosterone, anything else? No, I guess that'll do. (for any other folks in my situation, you need a CBC as well, as I was reminded later). He also gives me a referral to a Kaiser endocrinologist with the theory that they can prescribe me more testosterone and needles. I walk away hopeful that Kaiser can deal with me, I know they treat FTMs in San Francisco. It turns out I don't have strep.

Early February: Still no word from Whitman-Walker, I try calling the HIV testing hotline (I'm overdue and get tested regularly on principle) and nobody picks up. I search their website for the number (or any information) about trans healthcare and don't find anything.

Late February: Finally, after a month and change of waiting, my appointment with the endocrinologist arrives. Gosh, I'm nervous but hopeful. Dr. Bryan walks in, more nervous looking than I am, and says "Gosh, we're going to have to talk about some things. I sure wish your doctor had called me to talk about this beforehand!" It's very apparent to me that the translation of this is, "Fuck, I just read your chart 5 minutes before walking in here and had no idea what I was getting into." I say, "yes? Well, I made this appointment a month and a half ago...." He proceeds to explain that he has no idea about how to treat me (medically) and that as a consequence, he doesn't feel comfortable seeing me. I explain that there are very few doctors int eh DC area who do, that I had tried contacting Whitman-Walker, but that becuase I have healthcare, it would be very expensive to go to them. He gets more distressed (as do I) and keeps insisting that he doesn't know anything. I offer to get him phone numbers of either
1. A doctor in the Kaiser system who does;
2. My old primary doctor in San Francisco;
3. A doctor in the DC area who does.
He says he can't do that. I explain that he could be doing me harm by not prescribing me testosterone...if my ovaries fire up again, I can wind up with increased uterine and ovarian cancer risks. He says he has no idea and goes to call the presiding endocrinologist for the Kaiser system (the guy above him). When he comes back, I'm pretty freaked out at theis point, the only information he has for me is that Kaiser doesn't cover any transgender care. I explain that I'm used to paying for the testosterone out-of-pocket, but he knows and I know that doctor visits are way too expensive. He says, "yeah, I know, but I can't do this...maybe you can try another endocrinologist in the Kaiser system who knows more than I do?" Again, I call him on it - we both know that I'll get similar answers to the ones he's giving me. He admits that that's true. He goes and gets a referral for me - to a doctor at Johns Hopkins. I said that while I appreciate the effort, I don't have a car or the income to go out to Johs Hopkins and pay for a doctor visit out-of-pocket, that it's hundreds of dollars. He guiltily admits that this is also true - but reaffirms that he won't do anything for me. At some point, he mentions to me that my T levels are too high - above a "normal man's". I explain that the bloodwork was done very shortly after my shot, which totally effects the reported levels, but this sort of freaks me out as well (I've since confirmed with a doctor about that, and I was correct about that). He offers to refund me the $15 co-pay for my visit, because, as he states, "I've done nothing for you." It's a very weird interaction where he's very guilty about it all but unwilling to take any of my suggestions. I feel like he's trying to buy off his conscience and I decline the offer and leave, shaken. The message was clear: "I don't know what you are and I don't care to deal with you." This doesn't put me in a good mood for the day. There were points in the conversation I thought I was going to cry, and people near me these days know that that doesn't come easy.

Early March: I get an evaluation call from the Kaiser system and give them a piece of my mind (while of course being nice to the lady who's giving the call). Even she's kind of appalled at what I have gone through. I join an FTM listserv and ask questions, I get one doctor referral out in Virginia and lots of flamewars that were the sorts of things that made me run screaming from FTM-based organizing.

A week ago: After searching the Whitman-Walker site for a billionth time, on a whim I go to the "Lesbian Services" section. Who knew I was still a lesbian after all these years? But there it was, information about transgender health! I call, get a response later that day, and have a conversation with a very nice woman who knows about my healthcare issues. YAY! I now have an appointment with them, but first I have to wrest my bloodwork results from Kaiser...it'll cost me the first time, but it's not too bad after that. I mention that the website isn't the most forthcoming to trans people, and she replies that they darn well know it and are working to fix that. I laughingly offer that a flashing "Trannies click here!" button might be appropos.

Stay tuned for more adventures in tranny healthcare...