Funny I just noticed my last two posts were on the 18th of the month, and here I am on the 19th. Well, the 20th by the time I press "post". Maybe there's some sort of blog cycle? For me, that would be like blue moons or seasons, and less like monthly events.
The news since last post:
DC did allow gay marriage to go through, so Jess and I queued up to perplex many of the happy couples alongside us and got our certificate. Jess gave me a bouquet which I held while in line, beaming. Yay! It was a three hour wait and well worth it. At one point a pregnant woman from a lesbian couple ahead of us leaned over and asked politely if we had, er, planned to get married on this day (implying, "hey, do you guys know it's gay marriage day?") to which I replied, "yep, we're here for the festivities." After letting her linger for a while I finally told her I'm trans, and she grinned and got called up to the desk. Later we had a lovely get-together with some friends and family at a chocolate cafe to mark the occasion.
Jess and I went to London -- her for a work meeting, and me for tagging along -- and we got caught in the ash cloud crisis! Which was not really a crisis for us. It was an extra week of vacation, as Jess has a dear friend who was staying in an amazing flat by herself and graciously put us up for the whole week. We even managed an unplanned trip to Brighton. Whee! There are pictures. So. Many. Pictures. If you wanna see 'em, place a comment to that effect.
We also both went to the US Social Forum -- Jess lead a workshop there, and I floated about seeing fabulous people, attended workshops and volunteering with the crazed data registration process for large groups whenever Sha looked like he was gonna totally lose it. What a wonderful time! It was indescribably nice to be among friends near and far in a sea of fellow leftists. I reminded me of when I was 15 and came to DC for the first time -- for the 1993 Mach on Washington. There were one million queers. People were singing in every Metro station, "If you're queer and you know it, clap your hands!" the claps echoed through every hallway, an amazing wave of sound. Who would think that was almost 20 years ago, and folks are still slugging it out to repeal "don't ask, don't tell"? Which is so far from my personal liberatory queer agenda. Sigh. But it was a happy memory! I had a really skewed impression of DC, though -- the second time I arrived was a rude awakening. Detroit would probably be easier to visit the second time around.
In recent news, we just wrapped up a week of family vacation in Michigan with much of Jess's extended family -- very sweet. South Haven is amazing, far as I'm concerned, because it's the land of sleep, bad cell phone access, not much internet, swimming and hanging out with awesome folks who all manage to get along with one another quite well. And, Jess! Yay.
On temporarily sad note, Jess got deployed to L.A. for her work and will be out there for a couple of months. We're hoping she can come back for a trip we'd planned with friends two weekends hence, but it remains to be seen. I'm also hoping our first anniversary is one we spend together -- I will do my darndest to make that happen, election season and work posts notwithstanding.
I've been at Working America for five years -- my longest continuous employment to date.
And now, I go to bed. Night all,
-Max
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Oh, hope *indeed*.
Another year older and deeper in...?
The advantage to only posting once a year or so is that I can get a completely random reminder of how I was feeling the previous year. I was really excited about the Obama administration, and how!
After a year of slogging through the muck while watching a Congressional super majority whittled away, I too have fallen into the "enthusiasm gap". I wish it were an actual chasm into which I could throw some Dem strategists. I mean, *who* thought Creigh Deeds (VA gubernatorial candidate '09) would pull out the Obama "surge voters"? No, really! I don't get paid the big bucks for campaign strategy, but that one didn't pass the straight-face test in August of last year. And now look who's in Ted Kennedy's seat? But I digress.
The good news: Jess and I got married! It was real nice. We're just now getting together the picture books and videos, so sit tight. Our pal Jill took 3,000 pictures -- I joke that we could create a flip-book to reenact the wedding for people who weren't there. Kidding aside, they are beautiful pictures, and it was a wonderful time. We might actually get to do the paperwork in DC soon! Fingers crossed. We have not yet had a honeymoon and are trying to sort out where and when.
Lately: Survived snowpocalyse, which basically allowed me to catch up on sleep. Tomorrow I'm headed to Knoxville for the USAS national conference -- what's a little 8-hour drive among friends?
Lots happened in the last year overall, much of which now escapes my addled brain. This winter Jess and I took a roadtrip to Alta Dena with my mom and stayed with Jess's fabulous Aunt Jackie and Uncle Ed. It was my first grown-up visit to the beloved La Brea Tar Pits, a mere four or so blocks from the apartment my parents had when I was born.
I won't stay long, but will get something more up here before February 2011. I'm beginning to find Twitter's character limit insufficient at times.
Yours,
-Max
The advantage to only posting once a year or so is that I can get a completely random reminder of how I was feeling the previous year. I was really excited about the Obama administration, and how!
After a year of slogging through the muck while watching a Congressional super majority whittled away, I too have fallen into the "enthusiasm gap". I wish it were an actual chasm into which I could throw some Dem strategists. I mean, *who* thought Creigh Deeds (VA gubernatorial candidate '09) would pull out the Obama "surge voters"? No, really! I don't get paid the big bucks for campaign strategy, but that one didn't pass the straight-face test in August of last year. And now look who's in Ted Kennedy's seat? But I digress.
The good news: Jess and I got married! It was real nice. We're just now getting together the picture books and videos, so sit tight. Our pal Jill took 3,000 pictures -- I joke that we could create a flip-book to reenact the wedding for people who weren't there. Kidding aside, they are beautiful pictures, and it was a wonderful time. We might actually get to do the paperwork in DC soon! Fingers crossed. We have not yet had a honeymoon and are trying to sort out where and when.
Lately: Survived snowpocalyse, which basically allowed me to catch up on sleep. Tomorrow I'm headed to Knoxville for the USAS national conference -- what's a little 8-hour drive among friends?
Lots happened in the last year overall, much of which now escapes my addled brain. This winter Jess and I took a roadtrip to Alta Dena with my mom and stayed with Jess's fabulous Aunt Jackie and Uncle Ed. It was my first grown-up visit to the beloved La Brea Tar Pits, a mere four or so blocks from the apartment my parents had when I was born.
I won't stay long, but will get something more up here before February 2011. I'm beginning to find Twitter's character limit insufficient at times.
Yours,
-Max
Monday, May 18, 2009
Yes we did! And did, and yet there's more to do.
Hey passers-by!
I have released myself from the guilt I once felt about my scattershot approach to personal blogging. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the incredibly variable winds of my spare time.
I update my twitter more frequently because something about character limitation releases me from creative block. It's like a coloring book to a blank page; limited and pre-fab can sometimes be less daunting.
Now that we got that out of the way, another technical note -- blogger ate my comments. So if you left one, and I never replied, and you haven't given up on me -- leave it again! This time, I'll actually get notification emails too. I'm being welcomed to the blog 2.0 world at long last.
What's happened since October of last year? Well, you may have noticed that President Obama has taken office. Whee! So I was working a bit on that. Jess was eventually returned to me from Kansas City, and after a moment of reuniting, was promptly redeployed to Northern Virginia for our efforts on the Employee Free Choice Act. This also keeps me busy from time to time.
Then Jess and I went to El Salvador to observe their presidential elections in March. And, si se pudo! Well, not Jess and I, exactly, but it was humbling and awesome to hear all the Salvadoran social movement leaders heap gushing praise on the work of CISPES (Committee in Solidarity with the People of El Salvador) for being there, year after year, since 1980. What an amazing time. More on that later, if I get around to it.
Wedding plans march on. October seems just around the corner, but we have a location, I think we have food, we have a preemptive West Coast reception set for July, and a space for that. And hey, the way states are going these days, we have a veritable plethora of legal-marriage options. Ceder Rapids, here we come!
Much more has happened, but this is all you get for now. I must maintain my aura of mystique, ya know.
I have released myself from the guilt I once felt about my scattershot approach to personal blogging. The answer, my friends, is blowing in the incredibly variable winds of my spare time.
I update my twitter more frequently because something about character limitation releases me from creative block. It's like a coloring book to a blank page; limited and pre-fab can sometimes be less daunting.
Now that we got that out of the way, another technical note -- blogger ate my comments. So if you left one, and I never replied, and you haven't given up on me -- leave it again! This time, I'll actually get notification emails too. I'm being welcomed to the blog 2.0 world at long last.
What's happened since October of last year? Well, you may have noticed that President Obama has taken office. Whee! So I was working a bit on that. Jess was eventually returned to me from Kansas City, and after a moment of reuniting, was promptly redeployed to Northern Virginia for our efforts on the Employee Free Choice Act. This also keeps me busy from time to time.
Then Jess and I went to El Salvador to observe their presidential elections in March. And, si se pudo! Well, not Jess and I, exactly, but it was humbling and awesome to hear all the Salvadoran social movement leaders heap gushing praise on the work of CISPES (Committee in Solidarity with the People of El Salvador) for being there, year after year, since 1980. What an amazing time. More on that later, if I get around to it.
Wedding plans march on. October seems just around the corner, but we have a location, I think we have food, we have a preemptive West Coast reception set for July, and a space for that. And hey, the way states are going these days, we have a veritable plethora of legal-marriage options. Ceder Rapids, here we come!
Much more has happened, but this is all you get for now. I must maintain my aura of mystique, ya know.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Wow, since May, huh?
OK, some updates are in order:
* I disappeared into the land of data, never to be seen or heard from again. OK, that's an exaggeration. But not much of one! Election season began for me shortly after my last post and won't be done until Nov 8th, from what I can tell;
* Jess left a month ago to run a campaign office for SEIU in Kansas City, MO. I patiently await her return -- we're both working weekends so it seems unlikely that I'll get a chance to visit;
* Despite all of this, I managed to pass my first belt test in Tae Kwon Do class. I'm now a whopping yellow stripe! That's the second-to-lowest rank, for those who don't know :)
* Jess and I decided to postpone the wedding until Fall of next year, since we can't exactly be planning a wedding right now. Both of us are biting our nails about the California anti-gay marriage ballot initiative. But, hey, at least we could tie the knot in CT were we so inclined. I never thought I'd be getting state married to begin with, so eh. We shall see;
* I write this while taking a brief sanity break at work, where I've been since 9am and will probably be until 7. I kind of wish the weather weren't nice so I couldn't see it, but hey, it'll all be worth it to avoid having to hear the scariest words I can imagine right now: "McCain Administration". Or perhaps, "Palin Administration". To those of my near and dear who are thinking "gosh, Max, that's awfully electoral of you!" I see this work as a gigantic harm-reduction strategy for the coming months/years of round two of the Great Depression. More on that later -- like, mid-November later.
Time, it doth fly.
* I disappeared into the land of data, never to be seen or heard from again. OK, that's an exaggeration. But not much of one! Election season began for me shortly after my last post and won't be done until Nov 8th, from what I can tell;
* Jess left a month ago to run a campaign office for SEIU in Kansas City, MO. I patiently await her return -- we're both working weekends so it seems unlikely that I'll get a chance to visit;
* Despite all of this, I managed to pass my first belt test in Tae Kwon Do class. I'm now a whopping yellow stripe! That's the second-to-lowest rank, for those who don't know :)
* Jess and I decided to postpone the wedding until Fall of next year, since we can't exactly be planning a wedding right now. Both of us are biting our nails about the California anti-gay marriage ballot initiative. But, hey, at least we could tie the knot in CT were we so inclined. I never thought I'd be getting state married to begin with, so eh. We shall see;
* I write this while taking a brief sanity break at work, where I've been since 9am and will probably be until 7. I kind of wish the weather weren't nice so I couldn't see it, but hey, it'll all be worth it to avoid having to hear the scariest words I can imagine right now: "McCain Administration". Or perhaps, "Palin Administration". To those of my near and dear who are thinking "gosh, Max, that's awfully electoral of you!" I see this work as a gigantic harm-reduction strategy for the coming months/years of round two of the Great Depression. More on that later -- like, mid-November later.
Time, it doth fly.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Biking 181 miles...
Is no small feat. I learned this last weekend when I participated with Jess and 18 other folks in the CISPES 2008 Solidarity Cyclers fundraising ride.
The weather was amazing, and so was the Shenandoah river valley after biking up the base of the Blue Ridge mountains. We stayed at the Wheatland Vegetable Farm just short of Purcellville, VA on the first night, thanks to the generosity of the farmers there, and went on through Harpers Ferry to a nearby hostel, and back to DC. Pictures forthcoming!
In other important news, my job is changing, but not where I work. I'm changing hats from being an online communications manager to a data manager, which is an upgrade and will teach me even more geeky things than I already know. KNow anyone who wants my old gig? We're hiring! Drop me an email if you're interested.
This summer will be busy but good -- Jess and I are heading first for a week in northern CA and later to South Haven, MI for a family vacation.
Outside, of work, I'm getting an award! Yep, for my work with the the DC Trans Coalition, I'm the recipient of the "Engendering Justice" award at Capital Trans Pride this year. Complete with celebratory cupcakes and making a speech and everything, in a couple of weekends. It's very sweet of the folks putting Trans Pride together to have honored me this way.
That's the quick update for now...more to come as events progress.
The weather was amazing, and so was the Shenandoah river valley after biking up the base of the Blue Ridge mountains. We stayed at the Wheatland Vegetable Farm just short of Purcellville, VA on the first night, thanks to the generosity of the farmers there, and went on through Harpers Ferry to a nearby hostel, and back to DC. Pictures forthcoming!
In other important news, my job is changing, but not where I work. I'm changing hats from being an online communications manager to a data manager, which is an upgrade and will teach me even more geeky things than I already know. KNow anyone who wants my old gig? We're hiring! Drop me an email if you're interested.
This summer will be busy but good -- Jess and I are heading first for a week in northern CA and later to South Haven, MI for a family vacation.
Outside, of work, I'm getting an award! Yep, for my work with the the DC Trans Coalition, I'm the recipient of the "Engendering Justice" award at Capital Trans Pride this year. Complete with celebratory cupcakes and making a speech and everything, in a couple of weekends. It's very sweet of the folks putting Trans Pride together to have honored me this way.
That's the quick update for now...more to come as events progress.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Elation and outrage
Howdy everybody.
So it's true! I'm gettin' hitched. It's a sign I've been a little busy that this happened over Hanukkah and yet it took Jess writing the adorable guest submission to announce it here.
Since November 28, my last post to y'all, I done some thangs. You'd think one of them was to ask Jess to marry me, and yep, I did that. The funny truth of it is that I had asked her some time ago. I sort of blurted out a proposal last August, in all unromantic honesty, after my brain was completely overtaken by a desire to utter a question I hadn't thought would cross my lips. I was kind of freaked out because I didn't exactly know how to say this thing. Jess had gone away for a week, and by the time she returned it had become apparent to me that I wanted her to keep coming home to me in a permanent sort of way.
Right away she said "yes." Two days later she said "Whoa, this is really big. Can I think about it?" I replied in a enthusiastically-if-slightly-tortured manner that yes, of course, this is one of those life-long decisions and she could have all the time in the world. Which apparently turned out to be three and a half months. In the intervening time between "can I think about it" and "Yes!" were some steps. You see, Ms. Champagne is an organizer. So when she said "can I think about it", she then took a couple of weeks and developed a Four-Point Plan for the Development of a Decision Around Long-Term Commitment to Max, got my buy-in (and a pair of lovely promise rings), and immediately set about implementing the Plan. Cohabitation was one of the steps, and they were in all truly sensible.
Fast forward to December 18, 2007. I come home lateish from a planning session about a training I was about to give, we sit down to Hanukkah dinner, Jess brings out soup and then a plate of steamed veggies with peanut sauce on top. I say "Oh, that looks good!" She said, flatly "It spells something." Indeed it did! She had accepted my proposal in a vegetal manner. A picture of the peanut-sauce "YES" is now the backdrop of my cell phone.
So there we have it. There will be plans, invitations, arrangements, a website. Stay tuned. Something like Spring 2009, East Coast wedding, West Coast reception, that's about as far as we've gotten. I had no idea how many *questions* an announcement like this prompts!
Other major events -- I went out to California for three weeks. It was a long trip, and sadly I was sick for all of it with a heinous flu/cold something. But I got to see a fair number of my dear West Coast pals -- never enough, but always good whatever time I do get. I spent a bunch of time with my mom as it was also the first anniversary of my dad's death. A rough time. Jess and I went off to Mendocino for a couple of days, which was a great way for me to spend some time thinking about him.
Work with the DC Trans Coalition moves ever forward -- in light of our recent victory with the DC Metropolitan Police Department we held a 45-person community forum/know your rights training, and we're gearing up for a campaign aimed at the Department of Corrections. If you're interested in that I don't update that site much more than this, but it's at dctranscoalition.org
I was supposed to meet Jess's grandparents a couple of weeks ago, but the weather in Kalamazoo, MI prevented it. We're going in mid-March.
Shocking news: I finished a fiction book of my own volition. A big one! 650-some-odd pages, Kavalier & Clay. I liked it! Those of you who know me know that's surprising. It's also a testament to Nasty Flu #2 -- I didn't have the brains to do anything like meaningful work, so I read half of it over the course of a day.
On to the Outrage:
I received an action alert about a memorial for Lawrence King. Lawrence was a 15-year-old student at a middle school in Oxnard, California who was shot to death by a fellow student for being gay and presenting in a gender nonconforming manner. The vigil I attended was put on by GLSEN. I know that every day LGBT young people face harassment, abuse and worse all across the US -- but I was struck by the sense of resignation by the crowd at our vigil for Lawrence King.
I was Lawrence King's age, 15 years old, when I became the second person to come out at my rural northern California high school. I faced plenty of harassment and have been in a handful of situations where I wasn't sure whether the person harassing me would go as far as to beat me up, but I also knew that just telling people not to yell things or hit me wasn't going to make them respect my humanity. As a youth activist I was actively involved in the campaign to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the nondiscrimination clause of the California education code. Sixteen years later, and where are things at in California? When will we say "enough"? How do we solve the problems of
I know many organizers and activists fight to make schools a better place for LGBT youth. I know that too many young people are cut down every day just because of who they are and the way power is doled in this nation, and too many deaths are ignored. It's sad that a few weeks ago we lost Lawrence, and his attacker may wind up in a horrible prison system for the rest of their life. The way things are now, few kids will be taught to respect and love one another because of Lawrence's death, but I hope we can make sure it was not in vain. I can't wait until the day that all kids are loved and respected, and that no lives are considered forfeit by virtue of who you are or where you happen to be born.
So it's true! I'm gettin' hitched. It's a sign I've been a little busy that this happened over Hanukkah and yet it took Jess writing the adorable guest submission to announce it here.
Since November 28, my last post to y'all, I done some thangs. You'd think one of them was to ask Jess to marry me, and yep, I did that. The funny truth of it is that I had asked her some time ago. I sort of blurted out a proposal last August, in all unromantic honesty, after my brain was completely overtaken by a desire to utter a question I hadn't thought would cross my lips. I was kind of freaked out because I didn't exactly know how to say this thing. Jess had gone away for a week, and by the time she returned it had become apparent to me that I wanted her to keep coming home to me in a permanent sort of way.
Right away she said "yes." Two days later she said "Whoa, this is really big. Can I think about it?" I replied in a enthusiastically-if-slightly-tortured manner that yes, of course, this is one of those life-long decisions and she could have all the time in the world. Which apparently turned out to be three and a half months. In the intervening time between "can I think about it" and "Yes!" were some steps. You see, Ms. Champagne is an organizer. So when she said "can I think about it", she then took a couple of weeks and developed a Four-Point Plan for the Development of a Decision Around Long-Term Commitment to Max, got my buy-in (and a pair of lovely promise rings), and immediately set about implementing the Plan. Cohabitation was one of the steps, and they were in all truly sensible.
Fast forward to December 18, 2007. I come home lateish from a planning session about a training I was about to give, we sit down to Hanukkah dinner, Jess brings out soup and then a plate of steamed veggies with peanut sauce on top. I say "Oh, that looks good!" She said, flatly "It spells something." Indeed it did! She had accepted my proposal in a vegetal manner. A picture of the peanut-sauce "YES" is now the backdrop of my cell phone.
So there we have it. There will be plans, invitations, arrangements, a website. Stay tuned. Something like Spring 2009, East Coast wedding, West Coast reception, that's about as far as we've gotten. I had no idea how many *questions* an announcement like this prompts!
Other major events -- I went out to California for three weeks. It was a long trip, and sadly I was sick for all of it with a heinous flu/cold something. But I got to see a fair number of my dear West Coast pals -- never enough, but always good whatever time I do get. I spent a bunch of time with my mom as it was also the first anniversary of my dad's death. A rough time. Jess and I went off to Mendocino for a couple of days, which was a great way for me to spend some time thinking about him.
Work with the DC Trans Coalition moves ever forward -- in light of our recent victory with the DC Metropolitan Police Department we held a 45-person community forum/know your rights training, and we're gearing up for a campaign aimed at the Department of Corrections. If you're interested in that I don't update that site much more than this, but it's at dctranscoalition.org
I was supposed to meet Jess's grandparents a couple of weeks ago, but the weather in Kalamazoo, MI prevented it. We're going in mid-March.
Shocking news: I finished a fiction book of my own volition. A big one! 650-some-odd pages, Kavalier & Clay. I liked it! Those of you who know me know that's surprising. It's also a testament to Nasty Flu #2 -- I didn't have the brains to do anything like meaningful work, so I read half of it over the course of a day.
On to the Outrage:
I received an action alert about a memorial for Lawrence King. Lawrence was a 15-year-old student at a middle school in Oxnard, California who was shot to death by a fellow student for being gay and presenting in a gender nonconforming manner. The vigil I attended was put on by GLSEN. I know that every day LGBT young people face harassment, abuse and worse all across the US -- but I was struck by the sense of resignation by the crowd at our vigil for Lawrence King.
I was Lawrence King's age, 15 years old, when I became the second person to come out at my rural northern California high school. I faced plenty of harassment and have been in a handful of situations where I wasn't sure whether the person harassing me would go as far as to beat me up, but I also knew that just telling people not to yell things or hit me wasn't going to make them respect my humanity. As a youth activist I was actively involved in the campaign to add sexual orientation and gender identity to the nondiscrimination clause of the California education code. Sixteen years later, and where are things at in California? When will we say "enough"? How do we solve the problems of
I know many organizers and activists fight to make schools a better place for LGBT youth. I know that too many young people are cut down every day just because of who they are and the way power is doled in this nation, and too many deaths are ignored. It's sad that a few weeks ago we lost Lawrence, and his attacker may wind up in a horrible prison system for the rest of their life. The way things are now, few kids will be taught to respect and love one another because of Lawrence's death, but I hope we can make sure it was not in vain. I can't wait until the day that all kids are loved and respected, and that no lives are considered forfeit by virtue of who you are or where you happen to be born.
Thursday, February 07, 2008
A guest submission with news!
OK, I know it's been too long since I've posted when my partner writes a guest post about major news in our lives. That said, this was seriously adorable and although I don't think she really meant me to post it for real for real, here it is. :) -Max
Guest post by Jess, 7 February 2008
Since last writing, our hero has taken a shocking--but positive, we promise--step: he's decided to get married. We know, "marriage" is not a word you ever thought you'd hear associated with his name. But it's subversive and transgressive in so many ways, honest--and plus it won't involve the state (except whatever office you go to register domestic partnerships in the District of Columbia, plus the notary who will have to witness all the contracts our hero and his partner will have to sign in order to get a tiny semblance of all the rights that straight couples get just by showing up with two witnesses. But you know all about that.)
Plus, more important, we really think it's going to make him happy. His partner is sometimes short-tempered and just a little overly concerned with details, and she often struggles to keep up with our hero's analysis of the world and his braveness in taking it on to make it better. She's not used to cohabitation (not that he is either) and lots of things about their relationship are new to her. Her last "serious boyfriend" was religious, conservative, and not particularly interested in radical equality or breaking down gender binaries - she has no doubts that this is way better.
However, she loves our hero in a way she has never felt before--he lights up her heart, frees her up from all kinds of mental and emotional traps she had felt stuck in, and makes her weak in the knees. She is excited to learn from him and support him however she can - and sometimes she even reads the books he recommends and follows his suggestions about the best way to go about things practical and political. She is learning that cooking and cleaning can be part of a creative, equal partnership, not of domestic servitude. She likes his friends (even if she's sometimes intimidated by their brilliance, intensity, and depth of experience... in many things...) and is thrilled when he likes hers.
We know that even all this love doesn't guarantee that she will make our hero happy, and we'd hesitate to speak for him on his own blog. But our hero himself has said that some of that gushy lovey weak-in-the-knees stuff goes for him too, that the learning goes in both directions, that their approach to domestic affairs and life can be complementary in many ways, and that he appreciates her follow-through and doggedness when she's trying to learn something (from him or others) or to make something happen.
So we hope that they are off to a life that incorporates both fighting racism and long bike rides through the woods, both working for the rights of workers and trans people and dancing to problematic [while rhythmically fabulous -ed.] music, both reading key books on radical theory and laughing so hard they can barely breathe. Plus, of course, living both on the East coast and the West...not to mention a few places beyond either coast. We hope you feel the same way.
Guest post by Jess, 7 February 2008
Since last writing, our hero has taken a shocking--but positive, we promise--step: he's decided to get married. We know, "marriage" is not a word you ever thought you'd hear associated with his name. But it's subversive and transgressive in so many ways, honest--and plus it won't involve the state (except whatever office you go to register domestic partnerships in the District of Columbia, plus the notary who will have to witness all the contracts our hero and his partner will have to sign in order to get a tiny semblance of all the rights that straight couples get just by showing up with two witnesses. But you know all about that.)
Plus, more important, we really think it's going to make him happy. His partner is sometimes short-tempered and just a little overly concerned with details, and she often struggles to keep up with our hero's analysis of the world and his braveness in taking it on to make it better. She's not used to cohabitation (not that he is either) and lots of things about their relationship are new to her. Her last "serious boyfriend" was religious, conservative, and not particularly interested in radical equality or breaking down gender binaries - she has no doubts that this is way better.
However, she loves our hero in a way she has never felt before--he lights up her heart, frees her up from all kinds of mental and emotional traps she had felt stuck in, and makes her weak in the knees. She is excited to learn from him and support him however she can - and sometimes she even reads the books he recommends and follows his suggestions about the best way to go about things practical and political. She is learning that cooking and cleaning can be part of a creative, equal partnership, not of domestic servitude. She likes his friends (even if she's sometimes intimidated by their brilliance, intensity, and depth of experience... in many things...) and is thrilled when he likes hers.
We know that even all this love doesn't guarantee that she will make our hero happy, and we'd hesitate to speak for him on his own blog. But our hero himself has said that some of that gushy lovey weak-in-the-knees stuff goes for him too, that the learning goes in both directions, that their approach to domestic affairs and life can be complementary in many ways, and that he appreciates her follow-through and doggedness when she's trying to learn something (from him or others) or to make something happen.
So we hope that they are off to a life that incorporates both fighting racism and long bike rides through the woods, both working for the rights of workers and trans people and dancing to problematic [while rhythmically fabulous -ed.] music, both reading key books on radical theory and laughing so hard they can barely breathe. Plus, of course, living both on the East coast and the West...not to mention a few places beyond either coast. We hope you feel the same way.
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